Kemveg Godwabgabtun is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, bad-tempered bird.

Kemveg Godwabgabtun created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemveg Godwabgabtun, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kemveg Godwabgabtun, she will turn you into a goat.

Kemveg Godwabgabtun's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Kemveg Godwabgabtun's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

2. Never hurt dolphins.

3. Never skip in the presence of tortoises.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Never bounce in holy places.