Xucktofflat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody duck.

Xucktofflat created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucktofflat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xucktofflat, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Xucktofflat's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Xucktofflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt geese.

2. Never feed peanuts to tapirs while wearing brown ear rings.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never paint your back black.

5. Worship no other gods but Xucktofflat.