Bogtontad is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, smart squid.

Bogtontad created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtontad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bogtontad, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bogtontad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Bogtontad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not eat coconuts.

4. Bogtontad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Pray towards the north.