Flisspagxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful grasshopper.

Flisspagxuc created a down quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flisspagxuc, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flisspagxuc, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flisspagxuc's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Flisspagxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Run away from white grasshopers, for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not sprint in public.