Rapjonmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a large, grumpy goblin.

Rapjonmeg created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapjonmeg, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rapjonmeg, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Rapjonmeg's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Rapjonmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Rapjonmeg on top of all buildings.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Retreat if nine manatees approach from the east.

5. Do not sprint in public.