Linfemmegvan is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthoughtful gnu.

Linfemmegvan created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linfemmegvan, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Linfemmegvan, she will ignore you.

Linfemmegvan's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Linfemmegvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs green.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near ducks while wearing pink hats and balancing five silver spheres on your hands.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.