Vilflapfudvin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered rhinoceros.

Vilflapfudvin created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilflapfudvin, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vilflapfudvin, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Vilflapfudvin's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Vilflapfudvin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Vilflapfudvin on top of all buildings.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Never think about spacetime.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never paint your back pink.