Homtomnurt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, confident spider.

Homtomnurt created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homtomnurt, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Homtomnurt, it will manifest in front of you.

Homtomnurt's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Homtomnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

3. Never paint your arms purple.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never sit in the presence of rats.