Cisszagbop is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, all-powerful newt.

Cisszagbop created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cisszagbop, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cisszagbop, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cisszagbop's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Cisszagbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.