Gilzassbam is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unfair spider.

Gilzassbam created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilzassbam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gilzassbam, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gilzassbam's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gilzassbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never hurt goats.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.