Tofvolleg is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tofvolleg created vertebrates three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofvolleg, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tofvolleg, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tofvolleg's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tofvolleg's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never wear purple trousers.