Lipflighastonk is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-confident ferret.

Lipflighastonk created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipflighastonk, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lipflighastonk, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Lipflighastonk's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Lipflighastonk's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven horses approach from the north.

2. Never mention great tits.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lipflighastonk.

4. Always look after injured goats.

5. Always wear fawn.