Habbudsaskar is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, humane hyena.

Habbudsaskar created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habbudsaskar, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Habbudsaskar, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Habbudsaskar's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Habbudsaskar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four mites in a large pit.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Run away from violet birds, for they are unholy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not shave your chest.