Jinrenmob is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, overgenerous shrew.

Jinrenmob created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinrenmob, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jinrenmob, he will destroy your home planet.

Jinrenmob's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Jinrenmob's Holy Commandments

1. Jinrenmob loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

2. Never feed gooseberries to otters while wearing shirts.

3. Never sit near turtles.

4. Run away from yellow cats, for they are unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.