Gonjipomin Volbaffot is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, effective jellyfish.

Gonjipomin Volbaffot created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gonjipomin Volbaffot, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gonjipomin Volbaffot, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gonjipomin Volbaffot's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gonjipomin Volbaffot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.