Flowhaspagbest is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, egotistical squirrel.

Flowhaspagbest created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowhaspagbest, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Flowhaspagbest, she will send you a sign.

Flowhaspagbest's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Flowhaspagbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near seals while wearing fawn shirts and balancing eight copper spheres on your neck.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not hurt manatees.

4. Do not take Flowhaspagbest's name in vain.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.