Buggunbag is a god.

He takes the form of a small, all-knowing manatee.

Buggunbag created silver three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Buggunbag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Buggunbag, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Buggunbag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Buggunbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Do not keep six ants in a large pit.

3. Never feed apples to cats while wearing indigo rings.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. You must love Buggunbag.