Natkimbim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, cheerful octopus.

Natkimbim created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Natkimbim, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Natkimbim, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Natkimbim's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Natkimbim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta aardvarks for they are unholy.

2. You must pray to Natkimbim eight times a day.

3. Always help doves in need.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Never talk about eukaryotes.