Sogweebin Dissteenkim is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful dog.

Sogweebin Dissteenkim created silver seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sogweebin Dissteenkim, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Sogweebin Dissteenkim, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sogweebin Dissteenkim's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Sogweebin Dissteenkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Erect eight lead sculptures of Sogweebin Dissteenkim on top of important buildings.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Do not commit murder.