Tikgigyikbell is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, impressive beaver.

Tikgigyikbell created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tikgigyikbell, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tikgigyikbell, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Tikgigyikbell's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tikgigyikbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to eagles while wearing tights.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Do not hurt rats.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.