Tartonkmil is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, omnipotent capybara.

Tartonkmil created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tartonkmil, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tartonkmil, she will remove you from existence.

Tartonkmil's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Tartonkmil's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Put Tartonkmil first in all things.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.