Laglindun is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, capable dryad.

Laglindun created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Laglindun, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Laglindun, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Laglindun's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Laglindun's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat eagles with great respect.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Laglindun.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.