Vagmetfabyargoflop Mongab is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, capable squirrel.

Vagmetfabyargoflop Mongab created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagmetfabyargoflop Mongab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vagmetfabyargoflop Mongab, he will destroy your home planet.

Vagmetfabyargoflop Mongab's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Vagmetfabyargoflop Mongab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Vagmetfabyargoflop Mongab in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Never talk about dark energy near whales while wearing fawn coats.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.