Bonbimsomgarlenfunnadgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, witless badger.

Bonbimsomgarlenfunnadgut created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bonbimsomgarlenfunnadgut, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bonbimsomgarlenfunnadgut, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bonbimsomgarlenfunnadgut's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bonbimsomgarlenfunnadgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Bonbimsomgarlenfunnadgut loves mites, so they must be respected.