Yarlsafveen is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy eagle.

Yarlsafveen created humanity two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlsafveen, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yarlsafveen, he will make you grow a tail.

Yarlsafveen's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Yarlsafveen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Yarlsafveen in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about birds.

3. Yarlsafveen loves rats, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near mice while wearing magenta stockings and balancing seven titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Do not eat beans.