Tonapptap is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, slow goose.

Tonapptap created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonapptap, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tonapptap, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tonapptap's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tonapptap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Run away if five ants approach from the south.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.