Bugqueegcun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unselfish raccoon.

Bugqueegcun created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugqueegcun, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bugqueegcun, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bugqueegcun's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Bugqueegcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Do not kill moths.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never mention otters.