Dusstinlik is a god.

He takes the form of a large, compassionate wren.

Dusstinlik created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dusstinlik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dusstinlik, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dusstinlik's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Dusstinlik's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dusstinlik.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

3. Erect five carbon sculptures of Dusstinlik on top of important buildings.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.