Tiplipcam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical naga.

Tiplipcam created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiplipcam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tiplipcam, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tiplipcam's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tiplipcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near badgers while wearing black shorts.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Tiplipcam loves mites, so they must be respected.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.