Yamtarhimhan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ill-tempered porpoise.

Yamtarhimhan created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamtarhimhan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yamtarhimhan, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Yamtarhimhan's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Yamtarhimhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never feed lots of figs to swans while wearing fawn scarves.

3. Never eat grapes.

4. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Yamtarhimhan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.