Bitmidtap is a god.

He takes the form of a small, irritating tortoise.

Bitmidtap created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitmidtap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bitmidtap, he will be very unhappy.

Bitmidtap's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Bitmidtap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bitmidtap.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.