Zighapfod is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, competent porpoise.

Zighapfod created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Zighapfod, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zighapfod, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zighapfod's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Zighapfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured hamsters.

2. Run away if three birds approach from the south.

3. Never eat lemons.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Run away from brown doves, for they are unholy.