Sandtifnardib is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, annoying dingo.

Sandtifnardib created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandtifnardib, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sandtifnardib, he will turn you into a sheep.

Sandtifnardib's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Sandtifnardib's Holy Commandments

1. Sandtifnardib loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. Hide if nine snakes approach from the south.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray immersed in water.