Vadbaggutjadcemquillzog is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, proud penguin.

Vadbaggutjadcemquillzog created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadbaggutjadcemquillzog, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vadbaggutjadcemquillzog, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vadbaggutjadcemquillzog's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Vadbaggutjadcemquillzog's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always help birds.

3. Always share figs with strangers, but never with tortoises.

4. Run away if six capybaras approach from the south.

5. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.