Afgabhappang is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, slow turtle.

Afgabhappang created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Afgabhappang, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Afgabhappang, she will turn you into a tree.

Afgabhappang's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Afgabhappang's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Do not hurt tortoises.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.