Tailhaddunpang is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humorless rhinoceros.

Tailhaddunpang created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailhaddunpang, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tailhaddunpang, it will turn you into a rock.

Tailhaddunpang's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tailhaddunpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Voles are not to be trusted.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.