Tafsakwig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical bird.

Tafsakwig created the Tadpole Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafsakwig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tafsakwig, he will turn you into a slug.

Tafsakwig's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tafsakwig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never sing in the presence of nematodes.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Bats are not to be trusted.