Hamkinbif is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, idiotic giraffe.

Hamkinbif created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Hamkinbif, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hamkinbif, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hamkinbif's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Hamkinbif's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Hamkinbif on top of all buildings.

2. Never mention snakes.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help mites.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.