Gephadjam is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, amazing owl.

Gephadjam created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gephadjam, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gephadjam, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gephadjam's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Gephadjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never feed cherries to seals while wearing pink hats.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Always treat porpoises with great respect.