Bapmifquart is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless porpoise.

Bapmifquart created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Bapmifquart, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bapmifquart, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bapmifquart's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bapmifquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bapmifquart on top of all buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Worship no other gods but Bapmifquart.