Bugkamlun is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, benevolent pig.

Bugkamlun created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bugkamlun, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bugkamlun, she will refuse to believe in you.

Bugkamlun's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bugkamlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never think ill of sick horses.

3. Never think about gravity near sharks while wearing red kilts and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your neck.

4. Never mention sheep.

5. Never wear skirts.