Leggunarmbud is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, staggering gorilla.

Leggunarmbud created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Leggunarmbud, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Leggunarmbud, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Leggunarmbud's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Leggunarmbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

2. Leggunarmbud loves goats, so they must be honoured.

3. Always wear black.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near turtles while wearing mauve coats and balancing six carbon spheres on your neck.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.