Cinpitkam is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, uncaring turtle.

Cinpitkam created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Cinpitkam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cinpitkam, he will turn you into a tree.

Cinpitkam's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Cinpitkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. Do not take Cinpitkam's name in vain.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.