Kam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, merciful goblin.

Kam created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kam, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kam, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kam's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Kam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

3. Hide from gray whales for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near snails while wearing red tights.

5. Never pour water over plants.