Dibpopdid Quartgomfumarf is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, two-faced tortoise.

Dibpopdid Quartgomfumarf created a strange quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dibpopdid Quartgomfumarf, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dibpopdid Quartgomfumarf, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dibpopdid Quartgomfumarf's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Dibpopdid Quartgomfumarf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Put Dibpopdid Quartgomfumarf first in all things.