Manbenkem is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking crocodile.

Manbenkem created the Sol system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Manbenkem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Manbenkem, he will turn you into a dog.

Manbenkem's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Manbenkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never feed lots of carrots to hamsters while wearing purple boots.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.