Kintigyak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awesome cat.

Kintigyak created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kintigyak, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kintigyak, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Kintigyak's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Kintigyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Do not keep three tapirs in a large pit.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Do not take Kintigyak's name in vain.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.