Tifhudcun is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, resourceful snail.

Tifhudcun created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifhudcun, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tifhudcun, she will turn you into a mole.

Tifhudcun's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tifhudcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Hide if eight turtles approach from the north.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always wear magenta.