Begjopfit Zimpitcidpakvonkmobvensat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, self-assured duck.

Begjopfit Zimpitcidpakvonkmobvensat created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begjopfit Zimpitcidpakvonkmobvensat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Begjopfit Zimpitcidpakvonkmobvensat, she will turn you into a mole.

Begjopfit Zimpitcidpakvonkmobvensat's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Begjopfit Zimpitcidpakvonkmobvensat's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never hurt sharks.

5. Retreat if eight whales approach from the south.