Vonkgatdam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humane pigeon.

Vonkgatdam created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkgatdam, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonkgatdam, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Vonkgatdam's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vonkgatdam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Never write about gravity.